Monday, June 3, 2013

Race Report: Coal Miner's Crit by Eric Jensen (@ericbikeco)

4th crit. Work week from the bowels of Hades; effort and stress. Up at 5am. Race at 730am. $15. 20 minutes as always. Hadn't ridden since I did 2 hours of tempo Monday. i did get a good warm-up of 20 minutes there, pin the number and drift East in the office park for some modest efforts. As the sticker on my car says "Irritability means too much on your mind and not enough time on your bike." Felt good. Off we go.

About 40 guys. No way it was going to be more than 4 laps. Turned out to be 3. I think they need to have mandatory "how to clip in to a pedal school" = sloooow start. With 20+ years of riding a bike, this put me on the front. I then sat up and let somebody else pull the first lap and I sat 4-5 back. This allowed the horrible sound of bodies hitting pavement to be out of my view on the first lap. I heard an ambulance was involved. Do these guys know they don't win cash? Do they know the P/1/2 winner gets $200? I can tell you the ER and a new collar bone costs about $3000 WITH insurance. Dumb. #crashtastic

There was some juggling of the bunch of us on the front but I understand friction and cornering so I ended up leading them through to lap 2 on the front. Flyin' the Foxtrot colors somehow. These guys were scrubbing 10mph or more in every corner, and there is no way they were going but 25mph before that. #weaksauce

I feigned exhaustion when it went up the hill and drifted to the back of the front group of about 12. Again, they were happy just coasting up the hill. Weak sauce. Before I could work them over another dude did that for me. I tucked in to 3rd wheel and it took a solid 30 seconds before anyone else came up. Like I said, it was nap time I guess; they are so young I'm not sure how mommy let them out of the house alone. #puppies

There was some argy-bargy at the top of the hill thanks to a guy on an un-named local team that is black and orange (hint) who thinks he is bulletproof; swerving, bad lines, just rude on top of sloppy if you ask me. I was tucked nicely behind a guy the size of Brad (draftastic) when BCS (oops) dude swerved, big guy swerved *and* grabbed the brakes, bashing my front wheel. I went wide and avoided disaster. #madskillz #onefakecollarbone

We got the pack of about 15 (who were there to actually race instead of just tick off a start) together by Pearl Izumi. I was at 85% and reading to go on a long flyer from there. Somebody beat me to that idea, and I was way too far back to work that out. #stupid

The finish was on Taylor South of Boxelder, and dude took off on the Dogwood sweeper. I was making a bit of ground; good. Right on Cherry; got a couple guys. Then the front couple hit the gas going into the left to the finishing straight on Taylor. My good ol' FUBAR calf/hamstring/hip was in no mood for that. I was just off the back for 13th. Oldest competition in that group had to be 15 years younger; maybe 20. #oldguyzrule #fangman

I'm sick of this 20 minutes of sloppy fakery racing. I emailed to see if "we" can't get me into 35/4 next week. #happykirkgroves

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